As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, anger is one of the most expressive emotions somebody can show. Anger is the product of somebody hurting your values. By analyzing your rage, you can understand what your anger tells about you.
The violation of your values
No other emotion can tell you so much about someone’s personality other than anger. On the surface, you only see an aggressive facial impression. But, diving deeper into the reason for the burst of anger can help you understand this person even more. With this advantage, you can understand, help, or even manipulate the person you are facing. Let me show you an example of my brother.
My brother is different from me, to be specific, the opposite of me. Instead of being an extrovert like me, he has a much calmer personality. At some point in my life, he saved me from many stupid decisions that I would make. When I am the engine and the fuel of the car, he is the navigation system and the break of the car. As you can imagine, I would be lost and crash the car without him. Summarized, he is much calmer and much more reflecting than I am.
As a middle child, he is more independent from his parents and likes to be on his own. But even someone like him shows his anger from time to time. And that is where I can analyze him to understand him a lot more.
One day, we, as a family, had a hot pot. It was fun, we talked a lot, laughed a lot, and it felt good to be together once in a while. Then I started on the topic of his debts. He had to pay around 2.000 Euros for his health insurance. But, it was caused by my mother. I just mentioned that our mother has to help him. Simple, someone causes you trouble, this person has to fix it. Furthermore, I mentioned how I helped him with our rent.
What his anger tells about him
Suddenly, he exploded. “What the fuck? I do not need the help of you guys. And, I helped you (me), too. When you had financial problems I was there!”
Take time to go deeper into his rage. Why was he mad? If someone helps you with money, it is a good thing, right? With the background information do you guys understand why he raged?
For him, his most important value is his independence. No matter the cost. He was angry at me because he thought I see him as a loser who cannot live on his own. To pay this huge amount of money is one kind of proof of his independence from others. I explained, that the reason for our help is not that we see him as a failure, a dependent person, it is simply about paying back our debt to him. When he helped me, I just want to simply thank him back with money. I understand his value and what is important to him, which is why I can deal with him much more easily and many of his actions are understandable now. He calms down and understands us. In the future, I will know how to deal with him. I know it beforehand though. If not, we would fight on that day.
So, understand the reason for the anger and you know how to deal with people. Easy.
Anger – a measurement of your life
Did you ever meet some elderly people who made a scene about small things? For example, arguing with the cashier about their coupons and causing trouble for the people in the queue? When you observe those people, why are they making such fuss about a coupon that could save them 10 Cents of a product? Because they do not have anything important anymore. Imagine, they are alone all the time, their kids are dicks who never visit them, and they had no sex for 30 years. They are alone, their life is boring and they have no important things to do. This coupon is all that is left for them.
Translating to our generations, people who are angry about everything have nothing important to do and no important value to take off. Their life is boring and especially they have no goals in life. To witness the pure power of this phenomenon, go to the comments section of a provocative post, and read all the comments. Every people who rage in this post, have nothing better to do in life. I am careful to judge, but I have to. These people are losers in life. Nothing to do and worthless. Sorry, not sorry. Getting angered by small things shows that there is nothing important going on in life.
Summary – What anger tells about you
Pissing someone off is my favorite and necessary way to show me their important value if they do not know. A friend of mine was once occupied with the topic of the GDP- the Gross Domestic Product, a measurement of the wealth of the average citizen of a country. I did not understand why this topic concerns him so much. He argued that the GDP is an old and conservative measurement of the economics of a country’s wealth. Who would even care? I did not, my brother did not. So, why does it bother him so much? It turns out, he was triggered by this measurement. Because of this measurement, he is categorized as a bad citizen, low ranked. To protect himself from the truth, he comes up with philosophical questions: What is the worth of a human being?
Like my brother, he wanted to prove his value. In this case, proving his life is not worthless. I need clear proof of it. I said: “Bro, with all respect, your life is boring and to be honest not worth living. Everything you do keeps distracting you from your real problems of yours. If you are gone, not many people will miss you.” This is hard to swallow. If you read this, I am sorry, bro.
When your life is truly worth living, these words would never hurt you. Opposite, you would be laughing and asking what I am talking about. This proves to me, that your life is worth living. Instead, my friend was bursting into a rage. A proof, that my words are some kind of true.
Reasons for your anger – what can you learn from it
To summarize, what anger tells about you is mostly about your values oneself. When you are angered,…
- your value was violated. With this, you can analyze what is important for someone and it helps you to deal with this person.
- you have nothing important to do. This shows mostly a person who has no important things to care for and to do in life. For example, Superman would never be angry about a ticket for wrong parking when he needs to save the world.
Anger is either a display of someone’s value or the measurement of your boring life. Every time, I get angry, I shut down completely.
I hope you liked today’s post.