During my 2-years journey, I met many people who are ambitious like me. Some are great Doers, and some others only like to tell their dreams. In the beginning, I was quite excited when it comes to this. So many exceptional ideas and so many beautiful dreams. We talked for hours and hours. But with time these conversations piss me off. And I start to doubt them instead of motivating them. This article is for those who only talk but never work a bit. Here are 5 reasons why we should talk less.
Why is no one believing in you?
Before I worked on my dreams, I was a talker or dreamer as well. I told my friends, family, and my girlfriends about it. For example, I had a plan to start this blog 4 years ago. Also, I wanted to be successful in the insurance and investment business. But underneath all the stories and dreams, I did little to none to make these come true. Unsurprisingly, no one believes in me. At that time, I did not understand the reason behind it. Was my dream too unrealistic? Do they doubt my competence? I could not figure it out for so many years.
Until I seriously work on it. This blog is almost two years old. During this time, I made other kinds of businesses. I made a dropshipping Online Shop, I created a drawing book, and I programmed my web app for the past two years. When I posted these small achievements on my Instagram account, I got weird direct messages from some friends. Some congratulated me. Some others told me about their plans instead. I was completely confused about it. But I told them to tell me more about it.
Summarized, all the stories end the same. “I will do this…I will do that and it will be fantastic.”, “I am great and I will be successful no matter what.”, “My life will be great.” and “Look how profitable this is, if they can do it, I can do it, too.” In addition, every one of them has a tone that their life is unbelievable greater than one of us. It feels like the decision they made, in this exact moment, will be told years later in their biography. Do you know what I mean? It is like they know they will be successful. And I hate exactly this attitude.
Because…
They underestimate the work behind it and undermine the effort of people who are working without success. When I heard about it, I almost explode. Because I know how hard it actually is. Working all day long, every day for 52 weeks, and no big results insight. Telling me how easy it is is just ignorant. First, they underestimate the person’s motivation and discipline to work. Second, they minimize the challenges they faced and mastered. Furthermore, these challenges, the talkers never have imagined at all. And third and most importantly, they are just jealous of the success.
Finally, I understood why people did not believe in me. Because I was just talking, people have never seen any actions from me. Obviously, I lack commitment. Furthermore, they have all the right to judge me and the right not to believe in me. People are only believing in you when they see that you are 100% committed. Of course, you do not need to prove anyone though. But this is the answer to why no one is believing in you.
5 reasons why we should talk less
1. Talking is easy
We seem to think that silence is a sign of weakness. Because many think that by saying nothing or showing nothing we do not progress in life. That is the reason why some of my followers had to speak, though they do not have to. Who am I to judge anyway? Because they want to please their ego, they speak. They speak for the sake of it and like life depends on it. Maybe it is their way to show me, hey I am good as you.
Mere gossip anticipates real talk, and to express what is still in thought weakens action by forestalling it. – Kierkegaard
And that is what is so dishonest about talk. Anyone can talk about himself or herself. Even a child knows how to gossip and chatter. Talking is easy, it gives you no credibility. So, show prove them wrong by start doing it.
5 reasons why we should talk less: #1 Talking is easy and the more we talk the less we are believable.
2. We confuse talking with actual progress
Research shows that while goal visualization is important, after a certain point our mind begins to confuse it with actual progress. The same goes for verbal visualization. Just talking out loud to ourselves has been shown to decrease insight and breakthroughs. After hours of thinking, explaining, and talking about a task, we start to feel that we have gotten closer to achieving it. But in fact, we have not.
5 reasons why we should talk less: #2 We trick our mind that we made progress. But in fact, we did not.
3. Talking will not erase the void and uncertainty
In moments of difficulty and helplessness, we tend to think and talk about them a lot. At first glance, these issues might overwhelm us. Where do we start? Therefore, we “talk” with ourselves a lot. Just like overthinking, we draw many scenarios and try to find a solution to them. In our minds, it seems like we solved them. By doing it, it erased the void or the uncertainty we face. But in fact, nothing actually changes.
Do you have a problem with a person? Talk to them. Do you have a huge project? Try to face it by doing small tasks. The more difficult the task, the more uncertain the outcome, the more costly talk will be and the farther we run from actual accountability. Talking – listening to ourselves talk, performing for an audience – is almost therapy. I just spent 5 hours talking about this. Doesn’t it count for something? The answer is no.
5 reasons why we should talk less: #3 Talking about a problem does not fix a problem, only by facing it.
4. Strategic Flexibility
Another advantage of keeping silent is strategic flexibility. As we know for sure, life can be unpredictable. Therefore, it is much more important to keep our plans secret. Because it will prevent us from losing credibility. If we planned out something without taking action, and we talked beforehand, people will not believe in you. And this will minimize you as a reliable person. For example, we plan to start opening a restaurant. But the time is not right. Your financial situation is unstable. Or something happened to your family. People will tease you when you will open up your restaurant. And every kind of explanation sounds like an excuse.
5 reasons why we should talk less: #4 It damages our credibility and our explanation of why we haven’t start sounds like an excuse.
5. It shows if we are suited
The problem if we only talk about is that we never know if a project is suited for us. As some of my followers, they are more likely to live in a dream. And all dreams are often beautiful and easy. But they will never understand the pain, frustration, and doubt coming along with purchasing big goals. That is the reason why I nearly exploded. To the fact that they minimize the effort people like me doing daily. Only by taking action do we slowly understand if businesses or even relationships suit us. So, the next time you dream about something makes sure to think about the negative effects as well.
5 reasons why we should talk less: #5 We will never know if this will work for us.
Summary – 5 Reasons why we should talk less
For a long time, I did not understand the quote: speech is silver, but silence is golden. Only with age and executing tasks, I understand it. I was ignorant especially arrogant to think I could conquer the world. The work people put in and becoming successful is quite a large step. Instead of, minimizing these efforts, I congratulate them. Thinking back, I was a naive, cocky little boy.
When you have something on your mind, do not think, especially do not talk too much about it. Work, hustle, and with patience, your dream will come true. And only then do you have the right to talk about your adventure. Because you have earned it.