At some point in our lives, we feel disoriented. We doubt the path we set on. The goal became less clear than it used to be. Or after achieving a goal, we feel empty inside. In these times, we do not know what we should do next, or is there a more meaningful goal to achieve? So, How to decide which direction to take? To answer this question, we need a mix of self-reflection and redefining our values once more.
The Crossroads Model
Before we find out what you want to do next, we need to review your past. Just answer the following questions by writing them down:
Where have you come from?
How have you become who you are? What have been the main decisions, events, and obstacles in your life? Therefore, remember the pain that changes you. It can be a life-changing failure, empty wallets, or even a big heartbreak. Who were your main influences? Is it your dad or your mom? Or it can be a friend or someone you are looking up to. Consequently, what was their behavior or decisions that change you? Also, think about your education, your home, and where you grew up. And make a note of keywords that strike you as important.
What is really important to you?
Write down the first three things that come into your mind. Think about what is important to you. What are your values? What do you believe in? Which principles are important to you? When everything fails what remains? If you have problems with this, think back to what angers you. Because anger can tell a lot about your values.
Which people are important to you?
Here you should think of people whose opinions you value. And who influences your decisions, as well as those who are affected by your decisions. Think also about the people you like and those you fear.
What is hindering you?
What aspects of your life prevent you from thinking about the really important things? Which deadlines do you have in your head, and what is hindering you? What do you have to do, and when?
What are you afraid of?
List the things, circumstances, or people that cause you to worry and rob you of your strength.
How to decide which direction to take?
After writing these things down, reread everything. Is something missing? What issues have arisen? Do the keywords you have written down tell the story of how you became who are today? If necessary, write down more keywords and questions. Now, look at the roads that lie ahead of you. Imagine each one:
- The road I have already been down.
- What have you always wanted to try? – The beckoning road
- The road that I imagine in my wildest dreams, regardless of whether it is achievable or not – what do you dream of?
- The road that seems most sensible to me, the one that people whose opinion I value would suggest to me.
- One you have never considered before – The road not traveled.
- The road back to a place you once felt safe.