Meeting a new person always comes with excitement. Our instinct of discovery takes over and we are curious who this person is. Will this person be my friend, partner? Or will he become an enemy? Before we make any judgment, personality comes first. What is his purpose in life that he always get up? Does his past or his future define him? However, to know someone, his intention, motivation, we have to learn how to ask good questions. Here are the best questions to know someone.
The Power of Questions
When I am at parties I am usually the center of every conversation. It might be the relaxing feeling I sending out or the funny, exciting energy. But I am not quite sure. But where I am certain is the reason that I never talk about myself. Even though I have much to tell about the journey I am participating in right now, I rather shut about it. When there is no opportunity to make jokes or another possibility to make the atmosphere great, I ask questions. These questions included Smalltalk like: How do you know [common friend]? to deep topics like love or the purpose of life.
As a result, I step into the position of a gamemaster or an interviewer. I feel like I am in a show. Asking questions, leading the conversations, and choosing the next person to talk to. I love these moments. People love to talk about them or give opinions on different topics. And I use this to make the atmosphere great. This might be the reason why people invite me quite often to their party. As you guys know, I am not a person who shares my opinions about anything. Because people with different opinions might fight. And as a discussion leader, I do not allow it. Instead, if a controversial opinion arises, I try to ask specific questions about it. Why? So the person can explain it better and I help him to get out of this spot. Also, I try to erase any misunderstandings.
By simply asking questions, I know these people a bit more.
Questions over Talking
However, at parties, there are different people. The ones who only talk about themselves. Being another type, it amazes me who these people act. For example, I know someone who loves to talk about themselves. He will talk about the great things he will achieve, how he improves and how he became a better person. Funnily enough, he talked this way with a girl he had a crush on. In the middle of the conversations, she panicked and looked over at me: Send help! I almost did not rescue her because it was funny to observe. After the conversation, she secretly told me that this was the most terrible conversation she ever had.
People who talk a lot about themselves have just a bad reputation. Every time I am with him, I tried to understand why he is like this. Because no one likes people who only talk about themselves. In addition, he is only praising himself. Wow, he is like my father. Praising themselves will ruin your reputation. I think these people are just arrogant and ignorant. Arrogant because they think that they are the best by solving some kind of mid-life crisis. And ignorant because they think that they are the only ones who ever witness problems. Those two traits combined with desperation for acknowledgment will lead to a self-praising, only-talking-about-how-great-I-am asshole.
The Best questions to know someone
Open Questions
Open questions cannot be answered with a yes or no:
- What was your worst/best travel experience?
- What is a good life?
- How would the world change if some people could use magic spells, and some people could not?
- What does the media do well, and what do they do poorly in their service to the public?
- When does scientific research become unethical?
- Why do people like watching movies that scare them or make them sad?
- How would you prepare for a zombie apocalypse?
- When was a time that politeness or good manners have gotten you into trouble?
- In what ways do you think the current generation is different from your generation?
- Given unlimited resources, how would you go about making the world a better place?
- Why do you think that humans find other animals’ babies cute?
- Why do conspiracy theories appeal to so many people?
Honest questions
These questions require no prior knowledge. In other words, there are no right or wrong answers, only honest ones:
- How important do you think self-improvement is?
- Why does happiness come easily to some but not others?
- If you could design a reality TV show, what would it be like?
- What experiments would you like to run if time and money weren’t an issue?
- What would your utopia look like?
- Why is it so hard to learn from our mistakes?
- What would be the effects of the internet shutting down?
- What are some of society’s unwritten rules?
Questions about them
Questions that center on your counterpart rather than on you:
- What was the most important chance encounter you’ve had?
- How did going to school shape you as a person?
- What strategies do you use to make big decisions?
- What are some of your plans for the future?
- How do your values differ from others?
- What was the scariest dream you’ve had?
- Which life hacks have you found to be particularly effective?
- What combinations of flavors do you like, and why do they taste so good?
- What’s the story behind how you met your best friend?
- What questions can you ask to learn the most about a person?
- What would your ideal partner be like?
- In what ways do you sabotage yourself?
- What makes you who you are?
- What makes you like or dislike a person?
- How do your body and mind react to stress?
- What are your top 3 rules for navigating life?
- What upsets you the most?
Summary – The Best questions to know someone better
I hope I can convince you that being an interviewer brings much more advantages. You should never talk about your results. Because it makes you showy, unlikeable, and ignorant. Let the results talk for themselves.
Instead, focus on getting to know the person in front of you. Also, try to mix open, honest, and person-related questions. In addition, do not rush things, let them talk. They might feel like a job interview. If you handle this cleverly you might meet someone great.