I talked about ego and being humble in many previous blog posts. There I explained that the ego can destroy your road to success. For example, it gives you a false reality of your current success, makes you inflexible to inner and outer threats, and stops you from growing. In many ways, ego negatively impacts your mental health. You become more reckless, paranoid, and regressive. This happens when we start to think that we are the best, successful or good at something. To counter this, we have to rebuild how we look at ourselves. In this post, I will show 5 advantages of being ordinary.
The Result of a huge Ego
During the lockdown in Berlin, my days were quite simple. Playing video games and work. The longer the lockdown the longer was hours spent playing video games with my friends. We played a lot but spending time with my friends over voice chat was more important. Playing video games was just an excuse to socialize with each other. Everything was good.
Until one day one of our friends had a mental breakdown. It started without warning. At one moment everything went fine and at the other moment, this guy became angry while we were playing a match. His behavior killed the mood. So, we asked him what is going on? We lost that match. Was he angry about that?
It turns out he was paranoid. He thought that losing the match was the doing of the police who were trying to get him. Just because he once smoked weed. Sometimes when my best friend who is a policeman joins us for a game, this guy asked him if he and his colleagues are tracing him. It was supposed to be a joke but I could hear his seriousness. In addition to his paranoia about the police, he is vulnerable to the opinions of others. Every small insult, doubt, or hindering is taken personally.
Summarized, he is the embodiment of the negative outcome of having a big ego. Let’s go deeper into this.
The reason for his behavior
Let’s take his paranoia as an example. Weed is one of the most common drugs used in Germany. Everyone had at least smoked one in his lifetime, I included. According to German law, consuming weed is legal but not possessing it. However, he is still afraid or he still believes that the police are after him. Writing these lines makes me laugh about it again. First of all, how can the police trace him down with no information? And secondly, why would the police do it anyway? They have more important stuff to do.
Secondly, he is opening a restaurant with his family. But feels pressured or moreover, he felt forced to do it. He says that he was baited to open a restaurant. In addition, unpleasant comments about opening a restaurant make him feel that people are hindering him. As a result, he is complaining that his surroundings are making his life harder.
His weak mindset causes this trouble
All in all, his huge ego and belief that he is special make him paranoid and weak against the smallest negativity.
He is seriously believing that the world is trying to get and ruin him. Only people who think that they are the best, the elite, or truly a miracle are thinking that way. He is not special so the government is trying to make his life harder. The police or his surrounding has better to do than plan on how to get in his way. I also have a theory why he feels bad every time his surrounding is bad-mouthing him. It is not about making his life harder. It is about ego, his ego is hurt. Because he is believing he is superman no one can or should touch him negatively.
If he does not realize that he is just an ordinary human being, he will have trouble in the future.
Why we are not special
I hope I could show you an example of the false belief that we are special and its effects. I am not saying that we do not deserve success. Everyone who works hard for their dreams truly deserves that. Moreover, I keep supporting my friends in doing the same way. However, in comparison with others or even the world, we are just a small number. Just because we sold our first product, doesn’t make us a competitor against Amazon. Just because we post our first blog post, doesn’t make us an author. And just because we open a restaurant, doesn’t make us Gordon Ramsay. In everything we do, we are not the first to accomplish it. So calm down and get off your high horses. We are ordinary.
5 Advantages of Being Ordinary
Here are 5 advantages of being ordinary.
1. Invincible against bad-mouthing
Insults, in general, are never the problem. It is the way how we receive it. As a simple rule, the bigger our ego, the greater the impact of an insult. Because we have to justify ourselves. Of course, insecurity is part of it. But the ego is unaffected by that. So, if you have a big ego every small insult will feel like a direct attack on you. First, we are thinking about if that is true at all. Second, because we have to defend our ego, we must convince the person otherwise. In both cases, we spent time worrying and arguing and that costs time and energy.
Without an ego, we do not have to worry at all. For example, I have no ego at all. If someone would give me a bad review on things I am good or bad at, I do not care much emotionally. Usually, I just take the hint, analyze and keep on. Or in the best case, I do not feel bothered at all.
5 advantages of being ordinary: #1 Strengthen your mindset and become invincible against bad-mouthing.
2. Never stop growing and learning
A big ego is mostly born when we think we reached the top. The top is defined subjectively. However, the top suggests one thing, we are the best. In other words, we finally reached our goal and do not have to improve ourselves anymore. We are at a standstill. No progress, no mission nor ambition. It is especially dangerous when you are young. If we are convinced that we are the best and therefore, nurture our ego, we will never make progress emotionally and personally. That is one of the reasons why many middle-aged people still think like a teenager.
Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.
Henry Ford
Without an ego, we will always feel the urge to improve ourselves. More importantly, we have no shame in admitting that we made a mistake. Making mistakes is human. The faster we get this, the higher the possibility of succeeding.
5 advantages of being ordinary: #2 You accept that failing is no reason to be ashamed of and that keeps you growing and learning.
3. Less pressure
The “teenager effect” is a phenomenon when you think that the world is observing you. It falsely makes you think that the world is waiting for your success or mission. And as a result, you feel a lot more pressure to perform. Somehow you are convinced that you are destined to change the world. It makes you falsely important. A result of this “teenager effect”. This “teenager effect” is named after teenagers growing up. As a teenager, you feel that your surrounding is watching every step you do. It is the same when you hesitate to take off your clothes at the beach. In both cases, you feel pinned down by many eyes.
This effect is born because either we feel destined to be great or we are important in everyone’s life. Therefore, we have a responsibility to make up for that expectation. But in fact, we are not important and there are no expectations at all. Not even in the eyes of our parents or partners, we are that important. It is not my way to strip down your worth. I just remind you not to dramatize or overvalue your position.
Take a moment and think. What happens when we let go of the “teenager effect”? First, we do have not under nasty pressure. Therefore, we become calmer and do things more conscientiously. Second, you realize the reason for your motivation. As I preach, going for the appreciation of others is a bad way to start something. Without the urge of showing your worth to the world, you understand your motivation on a much deeper level. And therefore, you will keep up much longer.
5 advantages of being ordinary: #3 There is no urge or pressure in your daily life.
4. Become more open-minded
One of the characteristic that makes you bad is ignorance. This displays clearly when you talk about problems. In a way, you are the only one having these problems and you are on the edge of a breakdown because of that. It makes you look and feel weak. And again ego is the reason behind this. Because it makes us imagine that the world is hindering us on purpose. As I mentioned before, my friend has this feeling of being prevented from success. As a result, you become ignorant. Ignorant about the more troublesome problems and makes your point of view small. But summarized, these big problems are just problems that can be solved easily. Why do I know that? Because other people had the same trouble and they solved it. So, do not think too highly of yourself.
Once you strip of this ego, your view becomes more open-minded, wider, and clearer. You see problems as a challenge, a task instead of a reason to stop. Moreover, you see yourself becoming stronger with every problem solved. This is only given when you see yourself as someone who needs to work. Once you start thinking that you are a failure if you have to work hard, you will lose.
5 advantages of being ordinary: #4 You become more open-minded to other possibilities and chances.
5. The world becomes friendlier
The most important aspect of being ordinary is your worldview. When you feel that people are observing you and preventing you from success, it means that your ego is incredibly high. Because you might think that you are way too incredible so people must sabotage you. A quite unhealthy mindset. Once you drop your huge ego, you feel like being part of the world. You will see things more beautiful. Because no one is aiming to ruin you. More importantly, you will see bad things as part of life. Bad things happen, and also good things happen, with no purpose at all.
5 advantages of being ordinary: #5 You become part of a more beautiful world.
Summary – 5 Advantages of Being Ordinary
The reason for this post is not to attack self-confidence or diminish success. In a way, we are somewhat special and not ordinary. However, in comparison to the world, we are just ordinary. And there is no shame in admitting it.
I am also seeing myself as an ordinary person regarding my hustle attitude. Every time I meet someone new, I always introduce myself as a simple web developer. Nothing more. In the eyes of my friends, I am a special personality. But I have never and I will never consider myself as such. Because I know that what I am doing is pretty normal. Maybe for my friends, it is hard to keep up or to understand my attitude.
For example, any idiot can write a blog, any idiot can open a café and any idiot can design and develop a website. I am convinced that my projects are nothing special. It is not that I am talking them down, it just seems normal to me. Maybe not for others. But in this way, I will never become arrogant. It is a technique that I am trying to teach you. Just be humble guys.
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