Why do guys pull away when they like you?

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Peter and Mary are dating for 6 months. Mary is overjoyed. Peter is romantic and attentive. He listens and they do everything together. After a while without any reason, Peter is passive and he began to distance himself emotionally. Mary is worried. She could not understand why he is pulling away. “Why was he so a perfect boyfriend and now he does not talk to me anymore. I did try everything to get him back. But it doesn’t work. WHY? What did I do wrong? Am I so awful? Why do guys pull away when they like you?”

This is a daily situation in every relationship, even if you witness that or heard from other couples. That something happened to the men, a mysterious disease of disinterest. They pull emotionally away from you.  At this point I believe, no I assure you guys, that men are all the same.
That is why in this post, I reveal a part of men’s nature and quiet down the anxiety of women on this topic. So stay along.

Why do guys pull away when they like you?

When Peter pulled away, Mary took it personally, a common reaction to most of society.
A woman pulls away for different reasons. She pulls back when she does not trust him, he disappoints him, or when she has been hurt. That is the reason why women think that men are hurt by them and accuse them for him to be like that.  Men also tend to do this when they are hurt or otherwise.

But in addition, we pulled back, because we want to fulfill their independence again. This is the first reason men distance themselves from their partners. They need to see their friends more often, and they start working out again or follow another kind of goal. Therefore men build a distance from their partners to focus more on their goals.

The second reason, men are unsure of how this relationship should go. “Is this the way I want to go with her? Do I love her yet?” This is not a clear sign that men are going to break up with you. Because of the increasing intimacy with their partner, men need an emotional vacuum, a place where they can reconsider their feelings towards their partners again. When men are pulling away, they may break up with you or they decide it is time to bring up the relationship to the next level.

Definition: Cycle of Intimacy

When man loves a woman,
periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.
Man are consistantly in a pull-away-getting-close cycle.

Overhaul the distance to come back to you

Why do men pull emotionally away from you

Either for independence or emotional reason for guys to pull away from you, they will come back again as you know them.

So let me explain the circle with this picture. (Because I don’t have photoshop skills, sry guys)

So the left hand is the man and the right hand is the woman. Imagine men’s intimacy as the rubber band. When we try to impress a girl, we are full of power, and desire. Our rubber band is fully stretched. So in the beginning,  we want to impress, please, fulfill and get close to her. When we succeed, she also opens her heart, so we get closer and closer. When we achieved intimacy we feel wonderful. But that changes a bit later.

With all our work invested in her, our rubber band loses power and stretch. There is no movement. There is no desire from a man anymore. We feel weak and demotivated. This happens exactly after the man fulfills the need for intimacy. 
Having fulfilled his hunger for intimacy, deep inside of him, an urge to pull away accurate. After this much intimacy with his partner, we want to feel independent again, on his own. He may feel he lost his independence or he does not know what he feels.

Let guys pull away from you, or …

Women make the mistake to stop him from pulling away, and this is the most critical one-hit-killer you can do with him when he decides to pull away from you. Summarized again, he is pulling away to gain energy and review the relationship. If you deny him that, you will create a slug.

The rubber band can only pull away if the right hand (the woman) standstill. If you follow him, getting emotionally closer, the rubber band will never stretch again. This means the rubber band aka the man will lose power or the will to be romantic again.

You saw it already, in movies or in relationships.
He sits there, nothing more than room decoration accessories, empty eyes, no motion, and his voice if he answers you, is emotionless. He does nothing fun with you. His life only consists of work, eating, and sleeping. Sounds similar?
At this point, women argue like “He used to be fun and romantic.” “I tried to talk to him, but it was pointless.” “We never do anything anymore”.


Let him pull away. Let him be alone. And I promise you, when he can not stretch anymore, he will come back with the impressive power of love.

Summary – Why do guys pull away when they like you?

summary - Why do men pull emotionally away from you

This pulling-away-jumps-back is a cycle, it will repeat itself. Men will always show when fully stretched, a huge amount of desire and passion to make their partner happy. And after the fulfillment, he loses this energy, the rubber band loses power and stretch. So guys decide to pull away, for feeling independent again, or reconsider how he feels, while doing this he gains his desire and passion again. This is why men are like rubber bands.

Guys have many reasons to pull away from you. Sometimes they found someone else or they are busy. Crucial is the moment when he comes back to you. After days of his absence, does he comes to you more lovely? If yes, high chances are, he really likes you.



If you like this article, subscribe to my newsletter to never miss a blog article again.

Share it with others !

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Notify of

Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x