What Self-Pity says about a person

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Self-Pity. The embodiment of the victim mentality and ultimate weakness. In every form and behavior, I hate it so much. No matter what happens in your life, people who self-pity themselves deserve no empathy. Not because I don’t have empathy because I know what leads to it. Here are 5 possible reasons for what self-pity says about a person.

It only shows your ugly side

In my early 20’s, I drown myself in Self-Pity. In one way, it’s a way to seek attention. But I didn’t see how it could damage me in a long way. So, I kept on doing it. Complaining about life being unfair, life is harder than anyone else, and I thought the world hated me.

5 years later after the loss of my first love, self-pity took over my life completely. I complained about her and what she did to me with my friends. Moreover, every second sentence that came out of my mouth was complaining and whining. One day, my friends stop caring and didn’t pay attention to it at all. Every time, I complained they switched the topic or they just ignored it.

I was angry. I ask myself: “Why didn’t my friends care for me at all?” Saying this out loud made me realize one thing. Since when did I become such an attention-seeking weakling?

What Self-Pity says about a person

what self-pity says about a person

It only shows your ugly side and many of your weaknesses. The damages are huge and put you in a depression. Here are 5 things self-pity says about a person.

1. Insecure

The main reason for self-pity is seeking external validation. Because these people lack confidence and don’t know their strengths. Therefore, they dwell in self-pity to hear encouraging words. Because friends don’t say: “Shut the fuck up! You are annoying” instead they say: “Aww poor you. You can do it because you are the best!” In a way, these people force their friends to encourage them.

What it says about a person: #1 Their overall being is formed by external validation. In other words, they are depending on encouraging words from others. As a result, they are insecure and lack confidence.

2. Self-centered

One of the most annoying traits of self-pity is how they talk. They talk in a way that they are the center of everyone’s world. Moreover, they put their words in a way that no one else has this problem. Automatically, they make themselves more important and special than everyone else.

“Why does this only happen to me?” was a sentence I thought and told a lot when I was pitying myself. Back then, I was seriously thinking that I was the only one in the world who lost their first love. Looking back, it makes me really pathetic. I can imagine what my friends were thinking.

What it says about a person: #2 Self-Pity puts us in a position where we think that we are the only one suffering. The problem is that it makes us pathetic and weak. Undermines others’ feelings and problems. As a result, it makes us self-centered, egoistic, and insensitive.

3. Ungrateful

Another nasty behavior of self-pity is ungrateful. They are ungrateful about the things they have. By only focusing on their problems, they don’t see the good things in life. When you are complaining again, remember who sits there again and listens to you?

Self-Pity makes you blind to the things you already have. While you might cry about a bad grade, remember you are healthy to walk on your own. By self-pitying, you say unconsciously that your problems are worse than a person without limbs.

What it says about a person: #3 These people are ungrateful. They concentrate rather on the things they don’t have than on the things they have. If they can’t value the smallest thing how can they ever value bigger things?

4. Insincere

Self-Pity has the bad touch to blame others for your problems. For example, you receive a bad grade. Instead of taking responsibility, you blame the teacher. By blaming others: “The world hates me! It isn’t fair!”, you never improve yourself.

What it says about a person: #4 Rather than take responsibility for their own actions they blame others. As a result, they aren’t sincere about their actions. If something goes wrong, of course, the others are guilty. They will never admit a mistake or wrongdoing.

5. Full of negative emotions

Self-pity brings negative emotions to a person. It’s no coincidence that it leads to anger, resentment, and loneliness. Anger because they feel treated unfairly. Resentment because they wonder why it happens to them. And loneliness because friends and family have enough. Or they shut themselves away from others to dwell in self-pity.

What it says about person #5 A person in self-pity is full of negative emotions. Without change, they will drain the energy of others. As a result, they become miserable and drown deeper in self-pity. An inescapable spiral.


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