Self-Pity is ugly. It brings nothing to our life. It’s time-wasting. Nonetheless, we dwell in self-pity. Thinking about problems. Complaining about it. Draining other’s people energy. Even though it brings nothing to improve our lives we love to drown in self-pity. But why? Here are 4 reasons why self-pity feels good.
Why Self-Pity feels good
Self-Pity feels good. Because it buys us time. Time to delay the confrontation with our fears and responsibility. As long as you feel sorry for yourself you have an excuse. An excuse to ignore your fear. An excuse to avoid responsibility. And an excuse to wait for better days. Instead of taking action or moving forward, complaining about life justifies why we shouldn’t do anything to improve it.
Here are 4 reasons why self-pity feels good:
1. Gain Attention
Many people use self-pity to attract attention. Playing the “poor me” role will lead to encouraging words. It’s often used by people who fear rejection. Self-pity is an indirect way to gain help.
2. A Right to Complain
Self-pity also becomes a right to complain. The more miserable your circumstances are the more often you can talk about it. In addition, many people have tolerance for people whose lives are tragic. Therefore, they listen patiently.
3. Avoiding Responsibility
Self-pity feels good because we can avoid responsibility. Telling your boss that your life is miserable may originate from hopes that less will be expected from you. Also, it takes off your responsibility for your own well-being. An excuse to do nothing and wait.
4. Act of Defiance
Many people have the misconception that there is a higher being responsible for our misery. It seems that we have to remind the universe that we deserve better. But the world doesn’t work like this.
How it will damage you
Self-pity is like a cigarette. Enjoyable at first, tastier when sharing with friends. But in the long run destructive. It leads to new problems and consequences. This will happen if you remain on the road of self-pity.
1. It’s a waste of time
Feeling sorry for yourself takes a lot of energy. In addition, it doesn’t change your situation. Even if a problem is unfixable, you can decide how to view the problem. Feeling pity won’t move you any closer to a solution.
2. It leads to more negative emotions
Once you let self-pity in your life, it fuels other negative emotions. Anger, loneliness, and resentment are consequently followers.
3. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy
Feeling sorry for yourself will take you into a life full of self-pity. Because when you feel self-pity, you won’t perform at your best. As a result, you may experience more failures and problems which will intensify your self-pity.
4. It prevents you from dealing with other emotions
Self-pity prevents us from dealing with anger, sadness, and grief. It can stall the progress from moving forward. Because self-pity keeps the focus on why things should be different than accepting the situation
5. It causes you to overlook the good in your life
If 10 good things happen in your life and one bad thing, self-pity will make you focus on the bad ones. You will miss out on the positive in your life.
6. It interferes with relationships
A victim mentality isn’t attractive. Complaining about your life will scare off others. No one ever says, “I like him because he always feels sorry for himself”