Dates are always exciting. No matter if it’s your first date or your millionth date, you are always nervous. Not only do we think about where to go on a date. We also pay attention to our behavior. But what is really important when we date? Our appearance? The activity? Making it exciting and memorable? Today, I going to show you the 5 golden rules of a first date. With these 5 rules, every date becomes a success for both of you.
What is a great date?
When my friends are telling me their plans for dates, I’m always cringing. One guy had planned to rent a boat to go on a lake on his second date. Another guy planned a dinner totally in the dark for his first date. Also, another dude was considering going bungee-jumping for his third date. It’s ridiculous. Because these three guys would never go to these events with their friends. It feels inauthentic to me. They pretend someone they aren’t to impress the woman. Because many people are thinking that activities of dates must be adventurous to be memorable. But it isn’t.
What is a great date? Simply, a great date must be casual. If a date feels casual you can show your best self. If it doesn’t it feels like a job interview. And how can you be your best self when you feel so nervous? For example, if you are into comedy, bring your date to stand-up comedy. Nothing is more attractive than seeing you laughing. If you are into food, don’t go into a restaurant, go to a food festival instead. Because a restaurant limits to show you your best self. A food festival is more fun, open and casual. If you are into sport, go to your local bar. Why? Your date can see you in your environment. Nothing is more attractive than people who know you.
My point is, it doesn’t matter where you go on a date. As long as you can show your best version in a natural way, it’s will be a great first date.
The 5 Golden Rules of a First Date
The most important part of a first date is not where you go on a date. But what you do when you get there. Here are the 5 golden rules of a first date.
1. Connect, don’t interview
Simply, a date is all about seeking values instead of seeking facts. Let’s say you are on a walk and eat ice cream. You ask: “What’s your job?” and “What do you do in that job?”. What follows is just an exchange of facts. Instead ask: “Why do you love your job?” This question opens up your date and you will get to know them better.
This is one of my tricks to know someone fast. I need only one date to know someone’s basic character. Just with why-questions. Moreover, the faster your date feels like they can truly be themself, the more attracted you are.
2. Generate emotional spikes
Part of what makes a great first date memorable is how emotionally invested we found ourselves. In other words, it should feel like a mini-adventure. Instead of talking to your date to find similarities, show them that you are interested in them. For example, you are getting ice cream. Tease them with a smile: “If you don’t like this ice cream here, we can’t be together.” This is a playful sentence that implies a possible relationship with your date.
Emotional spikes should allow easy physical contact, create sexual tension, allow you to tease or show a different side of your personality.
3. A date should have a rhythm
If you are going to spend a few hours with your date, try hopping around different venues. Go for a walk, then visit a cafe. Go check out a new exhibit, then find a place to bowl. The date is more memorable if you constantly changing the vibe. Sometimes it’s slow and relaxing. And sometimes it’s fast and exciting. Different kinds of dates allow sharing different sides of your personalities.
On one date you show your adventurous side, on the other you show that you are sociable and have great friends. And on another date, you reveal your domestic side. The goal of dating is to show them that you are someone they could live with and be comfortable within a number of different circumstances.
4. Show them your lifestyle that they want to be part of
People don’t only date you because of your personality. In addition to that, they look at how you are in different kinds of situations. For example, I always observe how the friends of my date are. Because they will tell me just by observing how she is. There is a quote: “You are the average person of the 5 most people you spent with.” In other words, how they behave, so does she. Furthermore, I observe other things as well. How they treat their parents, the waiter, and also how they deal with stress and negativity.
Take this to your advantage by only showing the positive sides of your life. If you don’t have many, consider building a great social life. Remember you should have an enjoyable life with or without a partner.
5. Bring your best self
A first date isn’t a place to complain or moan about your past. This person you are having a date with hasn’t done anything to earn your anger. Whatever bothers you should be left behind.