A man in his cave is still a huge mystery for many women. Therefore, a lot of unanswered questions remain. Especially if it comes to dating, this phenomenon puts women into overthinking overdrive. Let me enlighten you on the question: Is he in his cave or not interested?
The Silence Treatment
The biggest similarity between a man in his cave and his disinterest is the silence. As you know, a man goes silent when he is in his cave or is not interested in you. He might spend days ignoring you. Sending short answer. Or he avoids meeting you.
There is no difference when it first meets the eye. But it does. Before we reveal the big difference, let me guide you through the difference. Maybe you will come up with an answer on your own.
Men’s Cave Psychology
A man goes into the cave for two reasons. A problem is not solved yet or he is stressed out from his day. Depending on the level of intensity, he stays in the cave for an hour or even for weeks. This mental escape to his cave helps him refocus or helps him ignore the issues.
He becomes passive. For example, you get the feeling that he is not 100% attentive. Like he is driving on auto-pilot. Without recognizing his surroundings clearly, he behaves like a zombie. In my blog post, Men and their Cave, I wrote more in detail.
Reasons for the Cave
Here are the 3 big factors that push a man into a cave.
- Stress
- Overworked
- Unresolved problems in private or public life
Typical Examples of a man in his cave
Here are some behaviors of a man in his cave
- Watches sports games for hours
- Overly spends time on his hobbies
- Alcohol consuming
- Passive behavior
- Lethargic or less energized than usual
- Not listening properly
Now you understand the symptoms and reasons for a man in his cave.
He is not interested – Signs
If a man isn’t interested in you, he gives you the silent treatment like a man in his cave. He became less energized or he doesn’t listen to you properly.
Typical examples of a man who isn’t interested in you
- short answer/ or few-to-conversation
- excuses for not meeting
- never contacts you first
- cancels meetings a lot
- prefers his friends or hobbies over you
Of course, there are more signs if he isn’t that into you. Some of you might have realized a difference. In other words, you can easily spot a guy who is just in his cave or isn’t interested.
Is he in his cave or not interested?
The big difference is the reason he goes silent on you. As you notice, I didn’t list the reasons for his disinterest. Because these are individual reasons of each man. To help yourself to find out what his intention is, ask why he goes silent on you.
Here are the differences: Is he in his cave or not interested?
| In His cave | Not interested |
| He chooses to spend his time with his hobbies alone, while he’s thinking about his day. | He chooses to spend his time with his friends rather than with you. |
| While he seems busy, he finds time to answer you. | While he seems busy, he finds no time to answer you. |
| He cancels a meeting with you because of an emergency in his life or job. | He cancels a meeting with you with a made-up emergency. |
| Makes no promises to meet up. | Makes promises to meet up. |
| When you meet up he doesn’t listen properly. He gazes through the window looking in the distance. | When you meet up he doesn’t listen properly. He gazes at his phone and smiles. |
| Doesn’t talk about his problems. | He does talk about his problems, even about other women. |
| He is busy because he has to deal with problems. | Busy because he has to deal with many appointments and events with friends. |
Find out why he goes silent on you. If something is troubling him, he is in his cave. If there is no problem, he isn’t interested in you
Find the reason for his silent
Men are indeed simple creatures. A lot of men want to be one thing only. A hero. Any kind of problem he can’t solve damages the image of a hero. Therefore, he goes into his cave. Looking for a solution, so he can feel like a hero again. This is the main reason for a man to go into a cave.
The similarity of the “In his cave”-column is that he is troubled with something he doesn’t want to talk about. Moreover, he is aware of the priority of the problem. Therefore, he let you know directly that he is busy. Not with other activities but with problem-solving.
This is the whole secret to find out if he is in his cave or not interested. Find out why he goes silent and what he’s doing during that time.