When your ex is dating someone else…

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Breakups. Closure of a chapter between two human beings. Regardless of a good or bad ending, it’s always hurtful. It doesn’t matter who ended it, it always hurt. Or at least it concerns us in a way. However, this already feeling is worsened when your ex is dating someone else…

Overcoming the hurt when your ex is dating someone else

Moreover, when it happens within weeks. There you stand. Shocked and disappointed. The world becomes grey. Because you questioned the relationship. You wonder why your ex moves on so fast. Was your relationship just a gap filler? Does your ex even love you at all?

When your ex is dating someone else, you feel shattered. Will you ever be able to put yourself together? Yes. Many people before went through this feeling and so do I. If you asked your friends, they tell you that time heals all wounds. If you aren’t that patient like me who needed three years, here are 5 questions that will help you. Help you to let go of your ex.

When your ex is dating someone else

5 questions that help to let go

when your ex is dating someone else - 
5 questions that helps to let go

1. Do you love your partner or just the idea?

On many occasions when you see your ex dating someone else, you feel abandoned. Because you thought that your relationship was something special. So, you dwell in nostalgia. Especially, the excellent time. Times that make you feel like you belong to someone. A true love that conquers all difficulty. You surely miss your ex.

But hold on a second. So, if this relationship was so beautiful, why didn’t it work out? Because the relationship with your ex wasn’t that great. You are just remembering the good times. In other words, you make the relationship better than it actually is.

How am I sure about it? Because you two broke up. There was a reason that something doesn’t work. So, how can it be the perfect relationship? It wasn’t. Just because you remember the good times doesn’t make it a great relationship. Here is the thing. To protect ourselves from further harm, we forget the painful memories. Only the good memories remain which misleads us in a wrong interpretation of the relationship.

#1 How to overcome the hurt when your ex is dating someone else:

Most of the time when you can’t overcome your ex, it doesn’t mean that you want them back. Ask yourself if you miss your partner or just the good times you both had? If it is just the time you spent together, congratulations you found an answer to overcome your ex. So, you can move on with no problems.

But if you still miss your ex, continue to the next question.

2. Was your partner the last one to love you?

when your ex is dating someone else - will you be loved ever again?
The love of your life?

When your ex is dating someone else, you often get the feeling that no one will love you again. You lose hope to find someone as great as your ex. So, you dig a deep hole of self-pity. Moaning about your loss and keep saying that no one will ever love you.

It’s easy to say that you will be loved again. When your pain says otherwise, but believe that your ex isn’t the last one that loved you. Because if someone loved you already, chances are high that another person will love you, too.

#2 How to overcome the hurt when your ex is dating someone else:

Divorced people are always potential new partners. Why? Because their ex married them for a reason. A reason that makes them desirable. It is the same thing with you. If someone loved you once, there is a reason another will love that, too.

3. Was your ex the one?

One of my best friends is going through this right now. He is struggling with his pain while his ex already moved on. I listened to him a lot of times when he talked about her. And most of his nostalgia is about how great she was. And I couldn’t take him seriously at this point. Because anything about her personality or behavior can describe any other possible girlfriend. But somehow he thinks that she is the one and only for him. So, why do people think that there are no other partners?

Like my friend, many people suffer from the illusion of uniqueness because they forget one important thing. It always needs two for a relationship. In other words, many things your ex did, didn’t come from their greatness. They did it because you deserved it.

#3 How to overcome the hurt when your ex is dating someone else:

We should stop giving too much meaning to the actions of our ex. Your ex drove 5 kilometers to visit you when you are sick. So, what? I would do it, too if I loved you. Remember that your ex did things not only because they are great. They did it because you deserved it! I rephrase it to make underline the importance of this idea. You were worth enough that people treat you special! And guess what? There will be others that treat you as good or even better than your ex.

4. Is it all about your ego?

when your ex is dating someone else- is it all about your ego?
The Ego

When your ex is dating someone else, it hurts to be replaced. Especially, if this new person seems a worse version of yourself. So, you get not only hurt but angry. Why the fuck am I replaced by this person? Am I worse than the new one? This thought hurts a lot. But it’s not you that is hurt. It’s your pride.

First of all, your pride should be eliminated for good. Because pride and ego only create anger, narrows your view, and stop you from developing. Especially in love, relationships are destroyed because of ego.

Overcoming that your ex is dating someone else starts by putting your ego aside. Your ex is dating a new person who has nothing to do with you. It’s only you who is comparing yourself with the new partner.

#4 How to overcome the hurt when your ex is dating someone else:

Kill your ego. Accept that you have failed. Accept that you haven’t given our best. And accept that your ex has moved on. Dive in the pain, embrace it. Reflect on what you did wrong and come out there as a new person.

5. Your ex isn’t your true love, because…

they didn’t choose you. Even when you loved your ex, think that they were the best. In the end, they choose someone else.

At that moment that they didn’t choose you, why the hell do you feel sorry for yourself? In other words, your true love is your true love when they choose you as well. As soon as they start dating someone else your mind must destroy the perfect image of your ex. No, they aren’t the ones that you will live happily ever after. No, they aren’t the best partner you ever had. They are not allowed to even take space in your mind. Don’t waste your time.

#4 How to overcome the hurt when your ex is dating someone else:

My friend would come back to his ex. Even though, he went through the first 4 steps to overcome his ex. But it doesn’t help. He would date her again after she dated someone else. Beware your face and have some dignity. Love can be found multiple times in your life. Believe in it. Just have patience.


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