Do what you can not what you wish you could

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Of all the family members, my uncle is the most impressive member I have. He is a trained medical doctor and IT engineer. In the early 90’s he studied more about Artificial Intelligence. After joining at VietSoftware and VietSoftware International Jsc., he became an active member of the bitcoin & blockchain communities. Since then he is a big participant in the communities of bitcoin and blockchain. His knowledge made him well-known domestically. And nowadays, he joins a number of government agencies, companies, and start-up projects as technology/policy advisers. In addition, he becomes the Chief of Strategy Officer and investors to promote the future of the Blockchain-based Artificial Intelligence ecosystem. However, to come this far, he had to suffer a lot. He had many mental breakdowns, suffered from depression and the negative influence of my family made it worse. For everyone who strives for a bigger meaning, do what you can, and not what you wish you could. This is for you.

The Meaning of Life

thinking statue - Do what you can not what you wish you could
Since the birth of civilization, people are constantly trying to find their meaning in life

Calling is a mysterious voice that reveals our meaning of life. Surely one of you guys experienced this phenomenon. I withness this calling as well. When you remember my background, I always believed that I was determined to do something big, great, and important. Well, I wish to be this important. In my early 20’s, I was convinced, who knows why that my life will be important someday. This is thanks to my role in the family. I was responsible, or moreover, I was pushed in that direction to be responsible for the situation of my family. For example, maintaining the relationship between my mother and my younger brothers is one of my tasks. Or, I was responsible to keep the stress level of my parents low. And more of this ridiculous stuff.

As a result of this typical Asian parenting, I thought I must do something meaningful for the world. I was exposed to these kinds of ideological ideas. The first mistake I made as a young adult was to enroll myself in an overpriced university. Their marketing and promises were perfectly suited for me back then. When I finished I would fulfill my calling. My goal was to be the first Vietnamese Airport Manager in Berlin. This job would expand my reputation as a good boy and a reliable and responsible son, once more. And I would make history for the Vietnamese Community in Germany. So I thought, this was the dream, my wish, and more importantly, this was my fate!

My Realisation

I took my ‘calling’ way too seriously. This was my mistake. Once I discovered this study was just a common economic bachelor, I lost a lot of motivation. I thought this was the real deal. If I had not felt important, maybe I would finish my study. Because it is expensive as fuck. However, the calling forces us to take our work too seriously and overly important. That is why when our work did not fit with our purpose in life we lost our energy to continue. Also, prestige and power take a big important part in the calling.

More Suffering with the Calling

Basically, the calling or the inner voice is shit. Because it is just fantasy and a wish, influence by media. Furthermore, it has a romantic notation to it. So to speak, we overdramatized our idea. But many people do not know how many people destroy themselves because of it. There are numerous failures throughout history. For example, people who think they are born to write the next novel of the century. They fail over and over again. In the end, it pushed them to suicide.

Even my uncle experienced such pressure that it brought him into the hospital. Moreover, my family begged him to stop his journey to be more than he could be. Truly, they never believed in him. Just when he finally achieved his goal, my family finally supported him in any way possible. However, they should support him when he needed them the most.

Do not miss the Critical Moment

Many people are suffering right now from their calling. And once you are in it, it is hard to escape. So more importantly, how do you escape? How do you decide to stop on your journey?

My uncle should have had to reconsider his life choices once he fell sick. And personally, I would stop running after my fate when my actions start to damage the family. For years, his wife supported him unconditionally. What a wife. She brought the money home, took care of the children and my grandpa, and did the chores by herself. Without threatening to leave my uncle. And that for years. If the calling hunts you down and lets your family suffer, stop.

To summarize, these are the moments you need to reconsider your life. Family and Health. Health is the aspect that you should care about the most.

Summary – Do what you can, not what you wish you could

summary - Do what you can not what you wish you could

In other words, the calling is just a romantic fantasy we put on ourselves. We are possessed by the calling when we took our work important for the world. But this misconception only harms our mental health, and in the worst case, our loved ones. In addition, fueling our motivation by calling is also a bad idea. Because it is vulnerable when our philosophy is questioned. And as a result, we lost a big chunk of motivation. And on top of that, if we keep going and we ignore the red flags, we will go crazy, or we will kill ourselves.

For the people who want to end their calling, I recommend finding another source of motivation. As mentioned above, the result to keep the calling as a motivation source is bad practice. Just enjoy what you do, regardless of the results. Because this is pressure throughout. The best way, turn your passion or hobby into a job or the calling. Then you do not have to fear suffering from the calling.

For the people who think they found their calling, be careful how far you take this. Remember the threats that may confront you. And reconsider if it is worth the pain and time. Does the value I get from the calling exceed the price I have to pay? Most of the time, it is fine to be a normal person. Instead of doing things because of the calling, it is more healthy to do what you can, and not what you wish you could. Not everyone is destined to change the world and it is nothing to be ashamed of.


Blog article about my Uncle


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