Undoubtedly, the amount of self-confidence determines how you deal with life. Also, it shows merciless inner strength. The way you confront different situations will decide how people will perceive you, and more importantly, this will set your path in your life. Most of you know already know how crucial this is. Moreover, you might ask how to achieve this when you are shy, insecure, or anxious. I summarized all hacks that will work in a day based on my experience. Because I was shy as hell. Here are 10 self-confidence hacks that work in a day.
1. Dress nicely
The first thing you can change immediately is your appearance. As many know, clothes define people. It is hard to imagine a doctor without the doctor’s coat, a businessman without his suit, and a policeman without his uniform. What is more fascinating is their behavior. It changes as soon as they put their clothes on, they are more confident. Not only because of their competence which we talk about later but moreover it is thanks to their clothes. For example, when I put a doctor’s coat on I would feel amazing. The prestige, the symbol I gain without any medical knowledge needed. So, use this trick to your advantage.
Try to level up your clothing game. Instead of a sloppy, dirty sweater try a clean shirt instead. Pull up your sleeves to your elbow and voila, you will feel amazing. Maybe this is a personal preference but you get my idea.
10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day: #1 To become someone you always want to be, start dressing like it.
2. Build your competence
Second, build your competence further. What are you good at? Or what do you enjoy during your free time? It does not matter what you do as long as you learn something. Learning new things is exciting that I can promise you. Because every time we master something we feel more self-confident in what we do. And this energy we feel will be seen by others. An expert will always be respected. This energy is also needed to feel motivated as well as to keep you going.
Here I want to warn you, that knowing many things in many different areas can be liberating. However, the depths of the knowledge will be less than an expert. I recommend you to build your competence in fields where you are already good at or interested. In my circle of friends, I have a friend who knows a bit about many areas but equally nothing compared to the professionals. He has a bad reputation as a know-it-all. Of course, he thinks he is smart and it brought him an immense amount of self-confidence, but he is avoided by many of us because of that. Here is a blog post about the circle of competence, it tells you what I am talking about.
10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day: #2 build up your competence in the areas of your interest or strengths, and you will be more confident without any long-term damage.
3. Compare with yourself in the past, not other people
People compare a lot. Mobile phones, games, books, knowledge, theories, partners, and themselves with others. Comparing products with each other is a general practice and well accepted. We want to have the best thing out of options. So, we compare, analyze, and judge them if they are good or not. However, using the same technique to compare yourself with others is bad practice.
Watch this video.
First of all, who the fuck compares themselves with the best of the best? Furthermore, all famous people in this video are the exception and are the few talented people that are born once in the time of humanity. Compared with friends or relatives are worse enough. But comparing with humanity’s exceptional great talent is stupid and ridiculous.
If you start to compare yourself with other people, disappointment is guaranteed. So, stop it. There are no benefits to doing this. Here is another bad news for you, no matter what you do there is always another person who is better than you. You might reach the top but for only a short period of time. So, why bother yourself with it?
Let’s take the guy from the video as an example. When he was 8 years old, he only could perform the basics with the flute. Once he compared himself with Mozart he lost motivation and self-confidence in what he has learned. You could literally see his disappointment. However, what would happen if he continues learning the flute? He might be world-famous at 22 years old. Nothing comparable to Mozart but still remarkable.
10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day: #3 Start to compare with yourself from yesterday. With this small but efficient trick, you manipulate yourself to be better every day. And one day, you might be the next Mozart, who knows.
A workout is the best medicine against overthinking, depression, and other negative thoughts. When our mind does not function properly we have to force it to be happy by working out. When we exhaust our body not only does our mind clear itself, furthermore, we feel happy and filled with raw energy. Even though working out will not solve your problems, however, starting to think about the solution with a positive attitude helps immensely. All these benefits will profit you in just one day.
10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day: #4 If you start to work out regularly because this feeling is addicting, you will get in shape. And this undoubtedly will boost your self-confidence. You can only profit from working out. So, start now!
5. Define your principles and values
Your principles and your values are elements that are defining you. In addition, your principles and values are playing an important role in your self-confidence and vice versa. Firstly, without any self-confidence, your principles and values are often mixed up or changed easily. It means that your principles and values are not authentic and you might just follow the mainstream without any brain. As a result, you are seen as a weak, non-authentic person and a follower. Self-confident people defend their principles and values until the end. Furthermore, they would never betray those.
Because betraying them is equal to betraying yourself. In this world, you have to defend your views on what is right and what is wrong. When you are easily convinced by others, who would respect you? You make yourself weak in terms of your mindset. And more importantly, you expose yourself to becoming a victim because of that. Be careful.
Values and principles are the main pillars of self-confidence
Secondly, without principles and values, your self-confidence is based on maybe only your appearance like your body, money, or clothes. So what happened if I take this all from you? You are poor, ugly and you are wearing a potato bag. Are you still self-confident? You still can be if you have a solid set of principles and values. Self-confidence is created by defining your principles and values. And these two attributes are essential for living a good life. If you do not know your values or principles, I have a post that might help you find them.
10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day: #5 Define your principles and values.
6. Don’t give a fuck about others
A person’s self-confidence is often tested if it is confronted by other’s people opinions or values. This means, how do external factors affect the person’s self-confidence? And here many shy people lose this battle. Instead of being self-confident, they retreat or agreed to others’ opinions easily. Because they overvalue the opinions of others. Self-confident people do not give a fuck about others. Easily said but difficult to execute. So, how do we don’t give a fuck about others when, for example, these people are our friends or family?
Most of the time, we start to argue if our values and principles did not fit with the views of our friends or family anymore. At this point, how we decide will impact our well-being. For example, you decide you want to live more healthily. Working out, quitting smoking and you want to eat healthy food. You tell your friends who are the opposite. Junk food every day, smoking weed, taking drugs, or whatever. The first reaction of your friends will always be negative. Maybe they joke about your level of seriousness, trying to convince you to stay your same old self or even worse they judge you and start to avoid you. Here is a more detailed post about opinions in general.
No people are worth it enough to sacrifice your new way of living
If you are committed to change, do not fear, and take steps towards your goal. Do not fear losing friends, your family, or their judgment and gossip. Because for every lifestyle out there, are people who share your interests and your new way of living. At this point, you outgrew your circle and you start to become a new person.
I witness many people who are scared about losing their friends and sacrifice a better lifestyle for them. No friends are worth it enough to sacrifice yourself. Be strong, do not fear being alone. Furthermore, try to enjoy your loneliness and with the time when you stick to your new way of life, you will be rewarded. Going your own way is the best definition of self-confidence.
10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day: #6 Don’t give a fuck about others because no one is worth it to sacrifice your self-confidence.
7. Don’t speak of your goals to anyone
Don’t speak of your goals to anyone and it will bring you two benefits.
Firstly, this is a psychological trick to remind you that your goals are not done yet. Every time you tell someone about your not unfinished projects or goals, you indirectly tell yourself that you are already finished. While you tell someone how you will achieve it, you arrange your thoughts, make the steps clearer, and you tell yourself: Planning is half done. But this is wrong. Planning is one step of many to reach your goal.
Secondly, you save yourself from disappointment. If you have no self-confidence, this is important advice for you. There is a possibility that other people will judge you on your goals. Like the paragraph before, they might joke about it, trying to convince you to stay your old self or they judge you and avoid you.
Avoid these two aspects, by being silent. It will help you a lot towards building good self-confidence.
10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day: #7 Don’t speak of your goals to anyone and avoid the two aspects mentioned above.
8. Make your bed
Start making your bed every morning. Create this tradition and you will see the first positive effect on you. By making your bed, you will finish your first task of the day. You will feel a small amount of pride and you start to do more tasks. Every accomplished task will fuel your self-confidence with pride. It might be small, but many small amounts of pride will make you feel like the proudest person in the world.
10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day: #8 Start making your bed and feel the pride you gain with it.
You might feel uncomfortable…
I was a shy person for many years. And I can relate to the insecurities and doubts you confront yourself every day. Furthermore, all hacks above did not help me at the beginning because I felt uncomfortable doing these things.
Dress nicely? I felt kind of off, pretending someone I am not. Moreover, I was lazy and my mom bought me clothes. Build your competence? Well, I was good at soccer and played well. I was in the starting position every time. Ok, that made me feel proud and self-confident. But it does not help me in school. Compare yourself with the past? I was drilled to compare myself with others in terms of grades. It was a habit hard to change. Working out? Principles and values? Goals? Don’t give a fuck about others? I was basically too young to do it and at the time I never heard of it.
If the advice above did not convince you, the following two tips definitely will help you.
9. Fake it until you make it
Taking the first steps towards your goal is the hardest. How could, I, one of the shyest people in the class become one of the most self-confident? The answer: I faked being confident.
Back in 2011, I really love the US show, ‘How I met your mother’. It was fun to watch. Moreover, I loved the person Neil Patrick Harris played, Barney Stinson. Barney Stinson was a player, well-dressed, and good with women. He defies self-confidence in my eyes. I truly loved this kind of person and it does not take long to become like him.
I started to copy his jokes about different things, sometimes about myself, sometimes about trivial things. Moreover, I was rewarded immediately. People laughed at my jokes and that made me feel really happy. I wanted more and I continued this path. Then I started to tell myself that I am awesome and good-looking based on nothing. It helped a lot when I started to wear contact lenses. ‘Man, I am some kind of good-looking. :D’ The change in my appearance boosted my self-confidence a bit more. With these results, I told myself how self-confident I was and that I was a hot boy. I told myself these two things night and day. And at one point, I did not have to tell myself anymore. Because I was self-confident and had high self-esteem.
All this started when I picked a role model and tried to pretend like him. I faked my self-confidence for about 3 months and it turned into true self-confidence.
10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day: #9 Fake your self-confidence until it turns into real self-confidence
10. Create an alter ego
Creating an alter ego is similar to previous advice. Instead of picking an idol, you create it yourself.
Here I want to introduce you to my three me’s. These guys represent each of my true me’s and all of them play an important role in my life. Moreover, these three me’s have different values and are born to do different things. And it is funny how these three have different approaches to things and from time to time you could see them clearly.
The Blue Thien
He is the oldest one and he was always around. Imagine the shy nerd. That is him, an introvert. For a long time, a really long-time, Blue Thien represented me. He is insecure about his choices in life, shy around people, and anxious about dealing with hardship. That is why Blue Thien always escaped into the world of video games. Since he could hold the Gameboy. He felt most comfortable when he is alone playing games. And he read a lot of books, too, but mostly fantasy genre. Furthermore, he is not liked by Red Thien because in his eyes Blue Thien is a pathetic guy and a coward. But, among all three of them, he is the most empathic guy and loves his friends and family the most. Ah, and he wears glasses all the time. Because he likes to hide behind them.
The Red Thien
Red Thien was always beside Blue Thien. He appears every time when I was angry and shouted at people. After I pretend to be Barney Stinson, he started to manifest more clearly after I gained more self-confidence. He is the definition of desire and passion. He is really confident, passionate, an extrovert, a bad-ass, and hates any kind of weaknesses. In addition, he loves to work out, wears black clothes, wears earrings, loves to go out, and curses a lot. Even though Red Thien is sometimes unpredictable and his decision is based on his emotions, he fights for the other Thiens and protects them from everything negative, because he is always motivating and positive.
The Yellow Thien
Yellow Thien is the youngest but the most dependable guy of all Thiens. He is born when I accepted the role of the firstborn of the family. You might know, that this role is really exhausting when you were trained to be responsible for the well-being of the family. On top of that, I had to represent the family. So say, how I behave and who I am, define the general image of the family. Furthermore, this role came a lot with doing paperwork for my parents and future-related trouble for my younger siblings. But Yellow Thien, the most balanced guy, neither introvert nor extrovert, mastered it every day. And it is funny, he enjoys it when people depend on him.
With time, there was no real issue to deal with. And he had a lot of time to think about the future. As a result, Yellow Thien is the one who started to read self-improvement books and started this blog. He will continue achieving the dream to be financially independent. All these things formed him, and moreover, he is familiar with trouble and stress. He will willingly deal with all kinds of problems in the future. And Yellow Thien will make time for his loved ones.
Their interactions with another
They could not be more different from each other. The Blue Thien, with his introverted being, differs immensely from Yellow Thien, with his sense of responsibility and his dreams. And moreover, Blue Thien is the opposite of Red Thien, the fierce and cocky asshole. But, no matter what happens, they need each other. Because every one of me helps the other. And each of them balances the other out. For example, sometimes Blue Thien is insecure about things people tell him, or Yellow Thien doubts himself about his way to reach his goals. Here, Red Thien, the always positive guy, steps in and verbally slaps those two. In fact, Red Thien, the most self-confident of them all, helped them many times and prevent them from falling into depression.
5 years ago, I felt really depressed and after hours of crying, I immediately felt embarrassed and angry about myself. Angry because crying out of sadness and doing nothing against it is stupid and weak. And there is one person who hates weakness. Yep, that is Red Thien and he does not allow such weaknesses. Red Thien who has no other motivation than flirt with many girls, work out, drink many whiskeys, and go party, is important to my self-esteem in general. Unknowingly, I created Red Thien, or he was created, I do not know exactly. But he plays an important part for all of me in terms of self-confidence. Of course, Red Thien needs the others, too, but in a different way. However, this is another story to tell.
I tell you one of the weirdest things about me. So, don’t judge me if I seem crazy. And do not tell anyone about your alter ego.
10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day: #10 Create an alter ego who is responsible for everything related to your self-confidence. This person is in charge.
Summary – 10 Self-Confidence Hacks that work in a day
All of the 10 Self-confidence Hacks will help you improve your self-confidence in a day. Most of the advice work in a day and you feel immediately a boost. Others need time to show their effectiveness because it depends on you how much you let it happen. Of course, the change will not appear, if you doubt my advice and follow them half-heartedly. However, all of this advice is approved by me. I used all of this advice and it works.
I hope this advice can help you just like it helped me.