Why you are not responsible for your loved ones – 5 Reasons

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Many people in my environment have a feeling of responsibility for others. They have the urge to be available for their friends, 24 hours long, and to protect them. As a result, their lives are constantly filled with problems not only on their own also with their friends. There is not one day they can relax, at worst, they have breakdowns. Furthermore, they know this kind of mindset brings them down, but they do not want to feel guilty if something happens to them. Some of you may relate to it. In addition, they would rather not feel guilty of the pseudo-responsibility they set themselves up than live peacefully. This broken mindset starts with your close friends and family members and can turn towards the state of the world. Here are 5 Reasons why you are not responsible for your loved ones.

5 Reasons why you are not responsible for your loved ones

Helping Hands - 5 reasons why you are not responsible for your loved ones

1. Who are you?

World: Especially here in Berlin, Climate Change has the top priority when it comes to political interests among my generation of ’20s/30’s people. Last week was the Friday for Future demonstration to made political pressure on our government. We demand more political activity to save our planet. And among some of my friends, they occupy with this topic. When your title is not the president of the USA or the chancellor of Germany, do you really think you can change the world’s state on your own? Yes, going to protest may help, but you are still not in power to change the world.

Even all of the G8 members have difficulty pulling on the same string. And if they succeed on a plan, the plan might be destined to fail. So, if you are not God, who can do whatever he wants without regarding the interests of all, you have one reason more why you are not responsible for your loved ones.

Your environment: Now reflect this thought on yourself. Who are you who force to help others? For example, I do not listen to my mother all the time even she brought me to this world, so who are you arrogantly trying to force your pseudo responsibility on others? It is not your fault if they fall. So, let go. You are not a superhero and trying to prove that costs too much of your time and energy.

2. Invest your time smartly

World: Do not travel to conflict zones unless you are a doctor, diplomat, or bomb, disposal expert. Many people fall for the volunteer’s folly, they think it makes sense in this kind of work. In reality, it is a waste. For example, you are a teacher and travel to one of these zones. Not only do you waste your time, but you also take the work of the locals away. Donate money rather than help them physically. When you spend your money for a non-profit organization of teachers, for example, they can use your money to educate locals to be teachers. While working in western countries with significantly more money, you can support them more efficiently. Donate money and let the professionals do their job.

Your environment: Help your friends to help themselves. Get them a job or an education. It is not your responsibility to take charge of it. Supporting them emotionally can bring you down. Do not waste your time on dead wood.  Life is rough, they are not the only victims. Be smart and help them to help themselves.

3. Bad news should be avoided

World: District yourself from catastrophe news. There is no point in watching it even when you are politically interested. Furthermore, media can influence your judgment of the world. If you want to know more, read a book on these kinds of conflicts.

Your environment: News is only good when it does not repeat. I have a friend who deals with a couple of repeating problems. And she is fed up with it. But with the proper reason she still listens to the same old problems, knowing exactly she will harm herself. Stupid one. Keep distant from those or prevent those topics.

4. Evil is all around you

World: We are just small fries in the big world. Imagine how big the universe is and you will realize how small we are in this universe. Shit happens everywhere and at any time. When I see a stranger, they may go through a divorce/break-up, financial disaster, or a midlife crisis. It is impossible to remove the evil in the world. Rather accept that problems are part of our life. When one problem in the world is solved another will rise. Conflict is always born out of the different interests of the two parties. When a world conflict is solved another will arise, so calm down you cannot solve them all in your lifetime.

Your environment: I repeatedly say my friends with this mindset to stop protecting their friends. Because in the long term, they will gain no experience. People should know how to deal with a problem when it emerges again. By protecting them and solve the problem with your own effort, they will never learn how to solve a problem. Instead of keeping them away from evil let them learn to deal with them.

5. You are not responsible for your loved ones

World: You do not have to feel guilty when you enjoy your vacation in Vietnam while local kids try to sell you goods to survive. Why? You are already helping Vietnam by visiting it, so enjoy your trip. It is mentally healthy to grow a ”social irresponsibility”. Do not feel responsible for your loved ones.

Your environment: I cannot repeat enough. You are not responsible for anyone except yourself and your kids, the rest is nice to have responsibility. Even my parents do not have the responsibility. And it is not about love or something. Your well-being always stands as the highest priority. Keep your mindset as healthy as possible so you can help others.

Summary – 5 reasons why you are not responsible for your loved ones

summary - 5 reasons why you are not responsible for your loved ones

To go forward in life, keeping your mindset straight and healthy is a true responsibility to do. When you trouble yourself with the problems of others or the world it will affect you negatively. Even when you solve these problems, it cost emotional resource and more importantly time. As a result, you ignore your own problems and waste your time on things you cannot even change. Even when somebody tries to take his own life and is done with the world, let this egoistic dude go. It is not their responsibility to change their life or help them. Realize someone who does not want your help. Make sure your friend knows all the consequences of his action, let them do it, and catch them when they start to fall.

But when you are fierce to help the world or your friends do it effectively and smart. Save your time on unchangeable things. For example, be rich, buy the whole Amazon forest and keep this land private, so you can decide what to do. This is, for example, an effective way to save the world. And not protest 2 times in a year.

To summarize, keep the focus on who deserves your time. Do not fulfill your dream by rescuing the world. Start small and keep this in a reasonable dimension and follow the 5 reasons why you are not responsible for your loved ones.

I hoped you enjoyed today’s post.



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