Feeling understood by others is one of the best feelings in the world. Laughing at the same joke, sharing the same value, or just by simply sharing the same interests can make us feel understood. In addition, we will grow a good relationship with one another. Also, having the same mindset will make us feel stronger in our specific group. However, staying around like-minded people can bring you several problems. Today, I will enlighten you on how like-minded people can harm you.
I am surrounded by like-minded people
First, let me describe my situation to understand the issue. I quit my job 2 weeks ago. If you remember I worked at a big company as a Web developer. To quit at one of the biggest companies in Europe is one of the biggest risk decisions I have ever made. It was a stable workplace with a good possibility to rise and I was quite good at it. However, I still felt lost in this workplace. Nothing was fun or exciting anymore. I felt like a zombie following a strict day-plan. And the worst part, everything I did was just for work, especially making another dude richer. This thought process has followed me ever since.
So, at the beginning of 2020, I decided to quit my job. My chef left me this comment: “When you quit so early, then you should consider if this work really suits you.” He was absolutely right. I hate these kinds of jobs, no not being a Web Developer. More specifically, I hate it being an employee. It does not matter if I work as a CEO or as a trainee, I hate being an employee. Following rules and be chained to responsibility is a nightmare.
And oh boy did I got negative feedback. My friends did not understand or support me. Furthermore, it felt like they looked down on me? I felt some kind of are-you-stupid vibe, I was judged in a bad way by my friends. Even a good friend told me that I was stupid for quitting and work solely on my projects. There is a blog post about my process of thinking.
But, my goal is to be free and the only way is that of an entrepreneur. So, I decided to work only on Plan A. That is the reason why I sit every day in my local Starbucks and worked my ass of since I quit. There I met friends who are like me. They support me and give me a feeling of Not-Being-Totally-Stupid because I was not alone in this situation. This is why I am more often with people who I barely know than people to who I would give my organs when it is needed. To summarize, I am totally aware of what I am doing. For the next years, until I am thirty, I will get rich or die tryin’.
The Negative Outcome
I am totally aware of the consequences of quitting my job. Not only that my lifestyle change rapidly also my social environment slightly changes due to staying around like-minded people.
Let me give you some examples.
- I am angrier than before. Every time, people ask me if I am sitting in Starbucks right now, so they can join, I feel upset. First of all, I always stay at Starbucks from 12 am to 5 pm. Second, I am getting upset when I see people who join me are not committed to their work or goals. For example, people who join me for 20 minutes only but spamming me with calls and texts like it was a life-dead situation. Why do you make so many efforts to ask me when you are not even intended to stay? Asking questions to obvious answers and half-ass commitment makes me sick.
- Another problem I faced since I hustle non-stop is the mindset of many people. In fact, my mindset is working until my life improves so much that I can do whatever and whenever I want. Furthermore, my focus is incredibly strong that I ignore all the things that may interfere with my goal. Chilling at home? No, thanks. Going out to eat? Yes, only if we go to Starbucks later. Talking about friends or family problems? Only if I can use it for my blog. All my energy is reserved for this Blog, my Online-Shop, and my Website. There are always things to do and someone getting in my way makes me upset a lot.
The False-Consensus Effect
What I am facing right now is called the False-Consensus Effect. It makes us believe that everyone thinks or feels like we do. In this case, I thought everyone thinks like me. “Everyone wants to be free and hustle non-stop.” With this unconsciously in mind, I was angry at everyone who did not think or behave like me. Moreover, this phenomenon will grow when you stay around like-minded people. Like-minded people can harm us by strengthening the False-Consensus Effect which makes us see the world in our way.
Summary – How like-minded people can harm us
By sticking around like-minded people, three things happen. First, we are getting disappointed fairly easily and fast. And no one wants this. Second, we will be less flexible and be more ignorant. This is quite devastating for us. People who want to improve at all level of life needs to draw information from all sources. If you stay around athletes you will be an athlete, for example. This strategy is quite powerful when you want to be an athlete, though. But it is undeniable that you will not see other opportunities in life if you cannot think out of the box. And, the False-Consensus Effect will interfere with it. And third, you will see everyone who does not think or feel like you as “abnormal”. Another step is to be more ignorant.
Summarized, I learned that my view of the world does not represent the major part of the public. Like-minded people can harm you in a way of seeing the world in just one way. And we know the world is more complex. By viewing the world only through our mindset, we stagnate, lose flexibility, and harm our way of self-improvement. Also, do not assume those who think differently are idiots. Before we distrust them, we should question our own assumptions.