Last two months, I was on an adventure, an adventure in the creation of my new self. Like most of you know, I am still a responsible, charming, and determined person. But in my two months of absence, I became a Freelancer. With the change of career, my attitude and mindset have become more solidified. Within a year, I changed myself dramatically. My goals become bigger, my way to achieving them clearer but the task becomes more difficult. However, I do not fear the upcoming change in myself rather more I welcome it. Because I remembered one lesson. A lesson that changed my whole personality. And this lesson is coming again: Fake it until you make it – The Importance of Self-Image and 10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image.
The First is “Fake it until you make it”
I was the typical shy, Asian dude in High School. Most people were not aware of me. Or better said, they did not see me in a group. Even though I was the oldest, I was the quietest at the same time. Confrontation and conflicts were poison to me which I tried to avoid at all costs. I agreed with the opposite even though, I know I was right. The decision to stay behind the scene is caused by my bad Self-Image.
Because I believed that I will always be a good teammate but never be a leader or someone who people will listen to. I taught: “Who am I to say something? I am shy and ugly at the same time. Better stay under the radar.” So, I decided to shut up and follow the group. As a result, I was never determined either in a career or in love which I pay a high price later down the road.
Fortunately, that changed when I turned 18. As you know, the show “How I met your mother” and “Barney Stinson” helped me a lot to fix my personality. I was such amazed by him that I started to pretend to be like him. And the result came faster than lightning. I became funny, did many dirty and stupid jokes, laughed more and I became much more charming than I used to be.
Not only did I change, but my surrounding also changed as well. People treated me differently than before. More polite, more friendly and they were more interested in me. At this young age, I realized one thing. When you start to see yourself differently, your environment will adapt and respond to your new Self-Image as well. And I was right every time. Your Self-Image creates your view of the world. Fake it until you make it – is the general advice for my shy friends.
How the Importance of Self-Image is currently changing me
Let’s jump forward 10 years to the present. I am still a confident, charming, and adorable guy. However, as I told you, I am currently changing myself. In addition to all that, I am currently changing two things. My view about relationships and the desire to be successful.
Like every change, it starts with the self-reflection of your self-image. Who am I right now? Who do I want to be? I asked this question at the beginning of 2020. While I worked for a big company, dissatisfaction erupts in my mind. Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? Living like a zombie day in and day out? Hell no. I do not want to be a zombie for the rest of my life.
Therefore, I asked myself: “Who do I want to be?” A quick answer: I want to be free and choose what to do and when to wake up. Entrepreneurship was the only solution at that time. So, I started to write more blog posts and I opened an Online-Shop. It works relatively fine. I could not live with the money I made, but it was a good start for 2020.
But I was impatient. It took too much time for less money. Surprisingly, a friend asked me to make a website for her dad. And it all began then. I, a funny charming guy, forgot that I am a Developer as well. Of course, I know that before and worked privately on a website with a friend together. But a path revealed on its own. “Oh my god, I could earn so much by the things I already do!” I did not realize it until 2 months ago. In other words, I forgot my other Self-Image, the image of a developer.
To push forward in life it is important to know your circle of competence and all aspects of your self-image. Because you will never know what life can offer you.
10 Tips to improve your self-image
Here are 10 tips to improve a positive self-image and how to find who you truly are.
1. Your Self-Image should be defined by what you achieved or do
I was never a fan of the tip “Love yourself”. What if you are a douchebag treating everyone like shit, living from your parent’s support, and doing nothing with your life? Do you still “Love yourself”? Time and time again, I hear people advise others about this. But it is just an excuse to never change. If you are truly awesome you should be proud of the things you achieved or do instead of who you are.
10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image: #1 Do not be a fool and love yourself for who you are. Start to be dissatisfied with your life. Eager for more.
2. Write down your skills
Your skills define your self-image. For example, every doctor has a kind of image only for their profession. People will look at you differently if you embrace your profession and stand behind what your job is. I started this tip recently. And found out that within my circle of friends I am the Tech guy. Once I realize that my vibe changed with it. I became more proud and self-confident in who I am.
Develop your self-image by writing down your skills. It does not matter if it is about your job, social environment, or hobby. Start to embrace these skills and accept them as part of you. And you, as I did, will change your self-image in a better way.
10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image: #2 Write down your skills and be clear about them. Because each skill will positively boost your self-image.
3. List 5 Achievements or Activities of which you are proud of
As mentioned at 1., your self-image should be defined by your achievement or what you do. Never solely one the idea to love yourself whoever you are. Being proud of yourself for achievements is a great way to picture yourself more objectively. And it can be anything, stop smoking or get a Ph.D. The downside of this is the mental stress you will expose yourself to. If you cannot find anything, you will drive yourself into depression or you just make yourself miserable. It can be a breakthrough to finally working on your self-image or shutting you down completely. Your personality will be the major factor in it.
Another way is to list the things you do that you are proud of. For example, I am proud of keeping in touch with my parents. Even though, I would rather work or go out with friends. I am aware of the importance of family. Once in a while, I visit my divorced parents. I visit my mom at home and we eat together. With my dad, we will grab a beer or go out eating somewhere.
10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image: #3 Measure your self-image based on activities and achievements. With this, you will have a more objective view of yourself.
4. Visualize your imagined Triumphs
Every time I shower while my music speaker is on, I imagine that I am in front of people performing. Like a rockstar or a pop idol. Unconsciously, I practiced singing. On a night out with my friends, we went to a karaoke bar. I sang the song “When I was your man” by Bruno Mars. When I perfectly hit the high notes. Everyone was amazed. You know the part: “Although it hurts, I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong…” This part lol. People were amazed and clapped.
10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image: #4 In everything we do, we need to visualize our triumphs. An easy but powerful trick for the mind to pretend.
5. Surround yourself with fictional and non-fictional characters
The first step is to imagine who you want to be. Do you want to be a leader who fears nothing, a great mate who is responsible and who everyone can trust, or a funny guy who everyone wants to be around? If you found out who you want to be, you need to find a role model. By that I mean, read a lot and find out who you admire.
10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image: #5 Find many fictional and non-fictional characters you admire and pretend to be them or use them as a role model you want to be.
6. Stop being a Perfectionist
Perfectionists are doomed to never start something because of fear. Mistakes are part of life and it is necessary. In terms of self-image, every start is difficult. When I started to pretend as Barney Stinson people ask me if I was sick. Moreover, I did not pull off the show perfectly. My jokes were bad and my fake self-confidence crumbles most of the time. But if I was a perfectionist, I would not even start to fake it and maybe I am still the shy guy back in High School. Do not fear if your fake self-image is not perfect, it will. Trust me on that.
10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image: #6 Stop being a perfectionist and start right away pretending who you want to be. Even though the beginning is hard and not perfect, it will pay off.
7. Change what you can and Let go of what you cant
In the middle of the year, I became impatient. Impatient about my breakthrough. I could not wait any longer to be successful. Because I did so much work every day. And I could not pay myself. Simply, there was no ‘return of investment’. And that made me crazy. I was angry, disappointed a lot, and even cried when I came home exhausted from working on my dreams. Even my brother, who is considered to be cold, told me to take a break.
You know this feeling when you want something so bad but you cannot have it? These feelings followed me for around three months. Even today, a small fraction remains. However, I realize to change my point of view. Let’s work for having fun. This helped me with this blog. But not my online shop will be closed at the end of the year. Programing and working with a customer is fun which I will follow for a long time.
Ease your mind by changing what you can and letting go of what you can’t.
10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image: #7 At some point, you will doubt yourself about becoming who you want to be. Try to find the fun out of it and the rest will come to you.
8. List 5 people who you have helped
Time is precious. But spending time with important people is much more precious. For example, I am somehow a dating/relationship adviser for some of my friends. And I keep in touch with them on how they are doing with their crushes/partners. Sometimes I give such good advice even though I was amazed by myself. Because I can analyze people just by observing them. It is easier if you are an outsider.
Anyhow, helping people in such small matters, made me realize how much value I have. Not only do I give good advice, but I am also a great mood setter as well. In other words, I rescued some embarrassing situations just by being me. How great am I? lol
10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image: #8 Helping others make you realize your value. As a result, it will improve or solidify your self-image.
9. Daily Affirmations
Even though, my breakthrough still has not happened. I am still working hard to achieve it. To make it through self-doubt, fatigue, and anxiety about my future, I remind myself of what I achieved this year. I created a small online shop with a small income. Blogging developed into a new and important hobby. I made a homepage for my business and even found three customers. As you can see, daily affirmations rescued me from giving up.
10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image: #9 Remind yourself daily what you achieved. This will help against doubt, fatigue, and anxiety.
10. Surround yourself with supportive people
To become who you want to be, you need to be with the same kind of people. I was lucky that I started to go to my local Starbucks. There, I met an awesome boy. Someone who I want to be. Over one and a half years passed, and until today he helped me whenever possible. He suggests many positive ways to improve my business. It is this blog, my online shop, or even my freelancer work. He helped me a lot and I am grateful for that. Find the circle of people you want to be in.
10 Tips to Improve your Self-Image: #10 Surround yourself with like-minded people. They will help you automatically if you show them enough eagerness.
Summary – 10 Tips to Improve Your Self-Image
At no point in my life, have I been this aware of my presence than now. Everything I do, everything I learn has a reason. Moreover, it has had a more meaningful impact on my life. Because every decision I made is active. My self-image is at a peak now and it will be there for several years. The reason for this active decision-making is the increasing level of my self-image. I know who I am, I know who I want to be and most importantly, I know how to reach that goal.
The best lesson I took from this is the changing environment. I do not believe or in other words, I know that the world did not change, we changed. Once we changed, our world, and its view change as well. Once at one point in my life, I wanted to be popular. I made many friends and still until today most of them have a positive image of me. But this is not enough anymore. Because I want to enjoy life to its fullest. To get there I need to be successful. And I believe that my environment will change with it.
As a general rule, “Fake it until you make it” is not an excuse to pretend who you are and lie to people over the years. This rule has the sole purpose to trick your mind into behaving like the person you imagine. As the 10 tips suggest, you need to have a great imagination. Therefore, many entrepreneur-gurus say “Dream big”. Because you will never know where you will stay. This rule helped me in the past, currently right now, and will help me in the future.